I’ve heard people say, “I just have a codependent personality”, “I don’t feel right unless I’m giving to others”. Codependents are usually people who feel responsible for the whole world but seem unable to take responsibility for their own lives. If you’re part of this group, you probably don’t know how to receive and often complain that you give, give, give but get nothing in return. Angry, exhausted, and empty, you’re really good at taking care of everyone else but have no idea how to take care of yourself. Your friends call you a Martyr and think you like that title! You have amazing insight into the problems of the ones who you have so selflessly decided to “help” but have no idea really what you are feeling and thinking.
You want to break free? Ok, this is going to be tricky.
One of the first problems we must address is the problem of attachment. Probably one of the ways you are stuck in this relationship in the first place is that your self esteem has been so broken, and you’ve become so isolated that finding new support and putting yourself back together feels overwhelming. This is where we will start.
When this starts to get better, you will find new confidence to begin to detach from unhealthy relationships and patterns, get rid of any traces of victim mentality and learn to create a life that you love, love yourself, and build new skills like radical acceptance, mindfulness (learning to enjoy the moment, letting go of judgement about thoughts and feelings), and skills for building healthy interpersonal relationships. The process may be difficult, but you will not be alone. Whatever progress you make is your decision to make. Therapy at Breakthrough Counseling can offer you support and structure, give you new ideas that will help you put back the broken pieces and to finally help you break free!